So I was headed into work today, the day before Thanksgiving, my usual commute involves walking through my neighborhood and to the incline (a slow lift that Tourists mistake for a roller coaster that goes 3 miles per hour). As I made by decent, on the hill side, I saw this:
Ok. Slight exaggeration. But my point is this: I live in Pittsburgh, on a mountain, but this family of Turkeys was actually chilling ON the sheer face of a mountain side. Even more baffling, they were above the expressway that weaves up the mountain. Did they buy a family set of mountain climbing equipment? There were baby turkeys there too. Last time I checked, Turkeys don’t have access to baby carriers.
The strangeness doesn’t stop there. Last year I was getting in my car to head out on the same day and found myself surrounded by… Turkeys.
I know many of you have eaten Turkey before, but if you haven’t seen one, up close. They are big birds. Even if many of them were young, seeing a group of them… staring at you… is pretty unsettling.
Thankfully Turkeys don’t hang out together to the degree of pigeons. With a handful of breadcrumbs you could recreate a scene from the Birds. And if it was an army of Ducks? Foggedaboudit. Ducks act nice. But they are jerks. I recall at a previous office job, there was a family of ducks that frequented the little pond in the office park. I swear their existence hinged on making people late for work by having tea parties in the middle of the road. I have found a high tech simulator of this frustration for your personal enjoyment.
My entire purpose of this little foray is to help you eat your turkey tomorrow with a clear conscience. In fact I want to do one better. I want you to add a new layer of appreciation to Thanksgiving. You are averting an impending invasion of annoyances and inconveniences while at the same time eating delicious food.